Restaurant #1 - TGI Friday's

Ya! TGI Fridays! Where the above never happens!

...and we kick off the crawl with a bang. Thanks to all those who attended. Enjoy the recap, please add to it where i may have blacked things out.


6:30 pm -
Arrive at TGIF GWU location. Restaurant smells faintly of barf and cleaning fluid upon entering. Probably a trademark touch, like the flair?
Patrons look sleepy and confused. we make our way to table.

6:45 -

We have ordered drinks, and they arrive. Pomegranite Long Islands get reactions that range from "this tastes like cough syrup" to "oh my god this terrible" to "(choking sounds)." We are all secretly comforted by the fact that they are 97% alcohol.

Susan gets down to business with our waiter in training, because, apparently, the concept of the appetizer "three-for-all" is hard to understand. REALLY hard to understand.

7:00-

Drinks taste better than originally thought. Lauren Gleason confirms this by happily sucking down Long Island after she had initially gagged on it.

BBQ Pork Ravioli bites are yummy, dont be afraid.

7:20-
Food arrives. tough to describe with words. see pics.

The gang digs in.

Lucas approves of Ollie's food baby

my meal. that would be chicken, shrimp, and "loaded" mashed potatoes. if they had only put some cheese on it.

I would eventually consume all of this. including the fried layer of goodness burnt into the skillet. see below. thanks a lot, lucas.

chz in mouth

chz in stomach

chz in arteries

luckily, chz monster does not discriminate:

Cam 1-

Cam 2-

8:00 pm -

Kevin is seen whispering something to the waiter. this is bad.

Fears confirmed when waiters bring 10 shots of tequila.

we are able to convince waiter in training to take not 1, but 2 shots with us.

Cheers, TGIF, we all earned our stripes tonight.

The dream begins...

If you're anything like us, the first thing you want to do after a hard day's work is kick it at your neighborhood American Eatery, where the drink specials taste like robitussin, where dead-behind-the-eyes waiters stare vacantly as you order from a 4 foot tall laminated menu, and where you're just as likely to be served a cup of melted cheese as you are tap water.

Welcome to 'If they fried poop i'd eat it,' a blog dedicated to the quintessential American tradition of the Family Chain Restaurant.

Through a combination of hunger, boredom, and sheer perverse curiosity, a group of brave souls from the DC Metroplitan area has come together to experience the finest in mass-marketed dining. Hopping from one infamous location to the next throughout the summer, they will pursue the simple goals of eating, drinking, and being merry, all the while experiencing as much "local flavor" as possible, and trying their darndest not to clog a left ventricle.

To kick off this caloric crusade, we started our crawl at the one and only TGI Fridays, where you apparently can't order a salad without it being smothered in nacho cheese. Needless to say, an incredible standard was set for the remainder of our journey, and, a timeless phrase and heroic rallying cry was born, thanks to the wisdom of our very own Lauren Gleason:

"If they fried poop, i'd eat it."

So true, Lauren. Wouldn't we all...